


spoke before i thought

by e_is_better_than_a (orphan_account)



Series: tumblr asks [11]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21620419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/e_is_better_than_a
Summary: anon ask: Promp "I'm sorry I didint mean it" Angst hardzello
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Joe Mazzello
Series: tumblr asks [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558126
Kudos: 21





	spoke before i thought

The sun had gone down and Joe sat, wrapped in a fluffy blanket, on Ben’s couch. He hadn’t moved since the Englishman stormed out of the flat, slamming the door behind him, in a fit of rage. It wasn’t a gigantic screaming match where they yelled until they were red in the face and out of breath, it was a few damning words uttered from Joe’s mouth that drove him out. ****

_“You’re just like her.”_

The _her_ was Joe’s ex-girlfriend who cheated on him. Ben was the first person he had dated since and it had taken a long time to fully trust him. Ben had given his heart to Joe before the ginger even gave a sliver. The blond trusted him fully and completely but Joe always had a shadow of doubt in his mind that Ben would up and leave the next day.

But the truth was, Ben was nothing like her. He always had this soft look in his eyes when they looked at each other and would never pass up an opportunity to cuddle. He would surprise Joe with little gifts like a small bouquet of his favorite flowers from a local shop or a trinket when he traveled for filming. He would call for no reason, just to hear Joe’s voice as he rambled on and on about anything and everything.

Joe could hardly breathe, not wanting to accept that he had said such hurtful words to the person he cared about most. Even though he was bundled up, he was still cold sitting alone in the dark flat. A shiver ran up his spine as he slowly came out of his trance, pulled by the ringing of his phone. The screen next to him was lit up, showing a picture of him and Rami from the Pacific.

“Hello?” He said softly, worried he might disturb the shadows.

“Joe? Are you okay?” Rami asked, voice also quiet, like he was talking to a child. _Maybe he is,_ Joe thought. _I certainly acted like one._

“I just fucked up one of the best things that ever happened to me, so yeah. Just peachy.” The bad attempt at comedy made the man on the other side of the phone sigh.

“It can’t have been that-”

“Rams, I said that he was like her.” His voice cracked as he interrupted the attempt at reassurance. Silence followed. Another deep sigh from the other side. “I’m waiting for him to come back to apologize and then leave,” Joe muttered dejectedly.

“Why would you leave after you apologized?” Rami asked.

Joe snorted. “You really think he would want to be in a relationship with me? I’m a mess. I just compared him to the person that ruined my self-esteem and trust without thinking. Even though I love him more than I can ever explain, I have a weird feeling that won’t be enough.” He spoke, picking at the blanket. It smells like him.

“Joseph Mazzello, you have no idea what is going to happen when he gets back,” The older man scolded.

Then the door opened. Light shone in from the hall into the pitch-black apartment and Joe’s mouth went dry. From what he could see, Ben’s cheeks and eyes were red and he looked tired. Very, very tired.

Joe hung up the phone and let it drop back onto the couch. He looked back at his hands, beginning to fumble with them. He heard soft footsteps after the sounds of shoes being taken off. The couch dipped next to him as the younger man sat next to him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I love you a lot and you’re nothing like her.” The words tumbled out, leaving a tense silence afterwords.

A heavy sigh filled it before the blond spoke. “I know. I love you too,” But I don’t think this is going to work out so leave. “ And I’m sorry I made you say that,” Joe opened his mouth to speak but Ben continued. “There must have been something I said or did that reminded you of her to have that thought come into your head and I’m sorry.”

Joe looked at him. He had his eyes closed with his head leaning against the back of the couch and he looked beautiful. Even in the dark with the only light from the streetlamps outside, he still looked stunning.

For a moment Joe hesitated, scared that he would do the wrong thing but didn’t trust himself to talk. So instead, he climbed into Ben’s lap and buried his face in his neck. He draped the blanket over the two of them, pulling his hands up to his chest. He wasn’t cold at all.

“Were you sitting outside the door?” Joe mumbled.

“Mmmhmm,” He hummed, carding is hand through the other’s hair. They were silent for a moment before Joe spoke again.

“I really do love you a lot. More than I could ever explain.”

Joe felt Ben drop a kiss to the top of his head. “I know. I heard you talking to Rami. And I wouldn’t have let you go,” He said. “I love you too much.”


End file.
